OPINION: Of Pennies, Walnuts, Chips, and Bardot
Donnie is pushing out some random thoughts today. It's a wild, enjoyable ride. Take a break from breaking sheets of ice in your driveway to blocks you can move, sit back, and enjoy.
By Donnie Johnston
COLUMNIST
How about a few random thoughts today.
The government has stopped making pennies. Apparently, it cost more to make them than they were worth, so the powers that be just decided to put a halt to their manufacture.
This is not the first coin that the United States has eliminated. Remember the half cent? Of course you don’t because it was phased out of circulation in 1857 and replaced it with the Flying Eagle cent (an 1856 Flying Eagle cent is worth between $6,000 and $100,000, depending on condition).
And there have been others over the years.
Why did the government discontinue the half cent coin? Because the economy had changed and by 1857 there was virtually nothing one could buy for half a penny.
Fast forward 169 years and there is nothing you can buy for a penny. The penny postcard disappeared decades ago, and penny candy is now selling for at least a dime, if not a quarter.
And as for “a penny for your thoughts,” well, with artificial intelligence we don’t even have to think anymore.
The bad thing about losing the penny is that it is the basis for our currency. We are, of course, on the decimal system and a dollar is broken down into 100 pennies – except there soon will no longer be pennies.
Businesses have already started refusing to hand out pennies for change, posting signs to that effect. They don’t seem to understand that just because their manufacture ceased this month, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t still pennies in circulation. In fact, there are about 300 billion one-cent coins remaining out there.
But despite this number, stores are ready to “round up” any amount that falls between one and five cents. They say if you owe four cents, you must “round” it up to five cents.
But five cents is not a “round” number. A round number has a zero so that amount should be rounded to the nearest 10 cents. Better yet, when they give me my change from a $1.01 purchase, round it up to the nearest dollar. I’ll take that.
What about those little containers beside the register when you place your odd pennies? Maybe put a dime or a dollar in there to help the next guy?
I say we make a law that says no purchase (or bill of any kind) can end in a number between one and five, because there are no pennies. All prices and bills must end in either zero, five or 10 to accommodate the coinage.
Just suggesting.
Brigette Bardot died two weeks ago.
Who was Brigette Bardot, you ask (if you under 50 years old)?
She was the French sex symbol of the 1960s, and kids who frequented the Saturday movie matinees were forbidden to go to Bridgette Bardot movies.
But I sneaked into one and was very disappointed. The lingerie section of the Sears and Roebuck catalog of a Beach Blanket Bingo film was more risqué than one of Bardot’s movies. But she was French and she had a sexy walk, so she was forbidden fruit.
Compared to R-rated films today, Bridgett Bardot movies were almost Disney-eske.
But that was the world of the 1960s.
I finished cracking my black walnuts, all 4,200 of them. It took two and a half months (spare time), frozen hands, a punctured and beaten thumb and days when I came in chilled to the bone, but I got it done.
Sixteen quarts (my old record was 15) now in the freezer with apple cakes and brownies in my future.
It was a lot of work, but worth the effort.
“What’s happening to this country?” someone asked recently. “New York has elected a Muslim mayor!”
“Yeah,” I replied shaking my head. “And I hear that New York school children will now have to use Arabic numerals.”
“I sure hope that’s not true,” the lady said.
“But it is,” I replied.
For a long minute, the woman was furious.
Sometimes you just got to think.
Best story I have heard in a long time. A couple is sitting on the couch watching TV when the man’s cell phone, which he has left on the kitchen table, rings.
He goes into the other room and says, “Hello.”
“Bring the chips when you come back,” his wife says.
That is one smart woman!
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