By Drew Gallagher, ADVANCE COLUMNIST
The FXBG Advance approached first-time author Drew Gallagher for an interview about his new book Funny For Nothing, a collection of his essays that first appeared in The Advance. Gallagher agreed to interview with a few qualifiers: no green M&Ms allowed in his dressing room, and the interview to be conducted by CNN’s Kaitlin Collins, or by Gallagher himself. Collins was on assignment.
Congratulations on the book. You must be very excited.
Thank you! There might have been a momentary loss of bladder control when I held that first copy.
I do have to ask, why now?
My publisher was hoping to get the book out as that rare blend of both beach and bathroom read before the Labor Day weekend.
I didn’t mean why this time of year. I meant why would you release a book into a world where reading books seems to be so unpopular? A recent study found that most people would rather have a colonoscopy.
I must have missed that study. Was it peer reviewed? But I think this book has a lot to offer in a world looking for reasons to smile, or chortle. Plus, I wanted to run it to the printer before any of the people who provided back cover blurbs changed their minds.
Let’s talk about the back-cover blurbs. They’re very impressive for a first-time author.
Thank you. I am very proud of them: Three from award-winning authors, one by a real-life rock star, another from the first woman Governor of Virginia, and even one by the mayor of Fredericksburg. They were all very generous. And I always wanted to help put up the Christmas decorations on Caroline Street and help clean up Virginia’s roadways on weekends.
You have an extensive list of names in the acknowledgements. Is that a marketing ploy?
I was an English major so I don’t know the first thing about marketing. I simply listed people who have been important in my life. Take Ruth Olson, for instance. She was my co-ed volleyball partner for a number of years. We won tournaments and drank tiny Corona beers together on the beach. If she buys a book or two, that’s great, but I wanted her to be part of this accomplishment. I can’t count the number of times I disappointed her on a volleyball court, so this book is proof that I’m not defined by shanking a pass or hitting a perfectly placed set 20 feet out of bounds. Also, as far as I know, there is no Guinness Book of World Records record for most acknowledgements in a book, so I’ll be sending mine in.
Where does the publication of this book rank among the highlights of your life?
Geez, I never thought much about that, but if pressed I might say the list would look something like (he removes and opens a carefully folded piece of paper from his pocket) this:
10. Being born in the same hospital as Taylor Swift.
9. Almost losing my virginity at 15. and then finding it again for another three years.
8, The Irish band Salt Hill releasing “Past Tense,” a song I co-wrote, on their debut album (available on most music streaming services).
7. Publishing Funny For Nothing
6. My first marriage.
5. Turning an unassisted triple play in Antietam rec league softball in the summer of 1978
4. Seeing Chris Elliott’s cinema masterpiece Cabin Boy in the theatre during its limited first release (there was no second release).
3. The birth of my children.
2. The 2004 World Series when the Red Sox ended the Curse of the Bambino and gave my life meaning again.
1. The 2004 American League Championship Series when the Red Sox came back from three games down to defeat the Yankees.
That was off the top of your head?
Yes, ask me again tomorrow and I might have a different answer for Number 10, but Taylor is my home girl. Being born together, 19 years apart, creates a special bond between creative types. Her influence is obvious in Funny For Nothing just as my influence upon her is obvious in songs like “Teardrops on My Guitar.”
So what’s next for Drew Gallagher? Will success change him?
I’m sure I’ll change on some level, but nothing molecular. Maybe work on a second collection of columns if the masses scream for an encore. I think it was David Crosby who said that every musician can put out a first album because they’ve been compiling songs for their whole lives up to that point. It’s the second album where musicians prove their mettle, because then they have to do it in the moment. You don’t want to put out music that’s less than your best. It’s the same with writing. When you publish a column about pansexual dolphins and PTA threesomes, you’ve set an awfully high bar. How do you follow that? Or “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” either?
I have no words.
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FXBG Advance columnist Drew Gallagher’s book Funny For Nothing was released on July 28 by Long River Press. It’s available for sale in the Fredericksburg area at Novel Bookstore (212 William Street), Liberty Town Arts (916 Liberty Street), The Card Cellar (915 Caroline Street), Wren & Sparrow (807 Caroline Street), and Laudenbach Brewing in Stafford (45 Centreport Parkway, Unit 101). You can also buy it on Amazon.
Drew, sign one and leave it at the Card Cellar for me. David Critchfield