Tally ho! July 4, and All That
Drew bends an elbow with a Brit visiting the U.S. for Traitor's Day (Actually, Independence Day - but it's all in how you look at it). It's a one-of-a-kind July 4 celebration.
By Drew Gallagher
HUMORIST
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For most of the world, July 4th is like any other day.
Not many Americans fire up the grill or pick crabs for Bastille Day. It is exclusively an American holiday and really the only other country that might have a passing interest in our Independence Day would be England, the country we declared independence from.
I had the opportunity to meet Dave Brown, a real-life Englishman at Red Dragon on Monday to ask his opinion on losing the colonies nearly 250 years ago and ask if he still houses any resentment toward those who revolted against king and country.
Brown, recently retired, was born in Nottingham and now lives in Plymouth and is in the United States for a six-week holiday. He’s a big fan of the Nottingham Forest Football Club (he made me promise I would mention his love for Forest and that they avoided relegation from the English Premier League) and he’s spending the first week of his holiday with friends in Fredericksburg.
Ours was a wide-ranging conversation that touched upon football (soccer), buying a lighthouse off the coast of Reedville for $450,000, and The Boomtown Rats. We tried to steer clear of politics and not discuss how in a country of 300 million our “best” two candidates for president are Joe Biden and Donald Trump.
Instead, I cried into my beer and wondered how in a country of 300 million we could not find a striker to lead the US Men’s National team out of the first round of the Copa Cup. Instead of Harry Kane we are left with only Harry Rags as consolation.
Doing an interview in a bar with a Euro Cup match on television may not have been the most conducive atmosphere for capturing quotes, so any errors in transcription are exclusively mine.
Dave is a very nice man and wears the “Traitors Day” t-shirt his friends make for him when he visits the lost colonies on July 4th. As Dave noted, he is nearly living as a Sting song title as an Englishman in Fredericksburg. Here is our conversation which has been edited for clarity and humorous effect.
Drew: What does the fourth of July mean to you?
Dave: As you just told me, it’s Traitors Day. I know the year I think, 1776? Apparently, a bunch of our loyal Englishmen decided to give America back.
Drew: Did you study the 4th of July in school?
Dave: No. I think we were aware of what it was, but it was never big in our history classes or anything like that. To me, “Independence Day” was a film. The first one was good. The second one not so much.
Drew: Wasn’t Brexit similar to when the colonies left the UK?
Dave: (Laughs.) When Brexit happened I was flying back into the UK and they cancelled my flight so I had to fly into Brussels. When I was landing, the pilot came on and said: “For all the British people on this aircraft you’re no longer a part of Europe.” I found out about Brexit landing in Brussels.
Drew: Losing the colonies hasn’t worked out that badly for England though has it?
Dave: No, not really. It’s nice because I’m still friends with these guys over here. Every time I come over they make me wear a Traitors t-shirt. Last time I was here it was pink and it read: “It’s All Quiet in The Colonies” with a picture of the queen. I’m not sure what this year’s t-shirt is yet, but I think it reads “You’re only a traitor if you lose.”
Drew: Do you find our celebration for the 4th of July over the top? Fireworks, cook as much red meat as we can?
Dave: Not the latter. You can’t beat a good steak! The fireworks are nice, but that is one of the things I love about America. If you had a secret camera following me on my walk to the pool today (the Doris Buffett Swimming Pool), I’ve got a big grin on my face. Not just because of the weather but because you’ve got gardens with little flags like a Navy Veteran flag or a Gay Pride flag. In the UK, someone would have stolen those flags out of the gardens and thrown them over the bush.
Drew: Do you think one of the reasons the colonies left England was because they throw Gay Pride flags over the hedge?
Dave: No. (He laughs.) Not really.
Drew: When was the first time you were here for the 4th of July?
Dave: Two years ago. We watched the fireworks from the house where I was staying and I had my silly t-shirt on. I was getting grief from all the family and neighbors who said “Hey, an Englishman is here.” It was fantastic. We went down to Fredericksburg during the day where they were doing all the face painting and it was like a massive, big family occasion. You don’t get big celebrations like that in the UK.
Drew: How many people in the United States do you think really understand the importance of the date, July 4th?
Dave: Not many. I think they just enjoy the holiday. Nice fireworks in the evening. Eating a bit of roadkill. I did Google it because I didn’t really know what the 4th of July was all about, but obviously I understand that people were unhappy with taxes. When I was reading about the 4th there was a lot of confusion about it because the Declaration of Independence wasn’t ratified until August so why is the 4th of July the date. Was that the date that they put the first paper down and they all started signing it?
Drew: Yes, they all signed it and then they all got drunk. The amount they drank during the Continental Congress was impressive.
Dave: So we could say today is the 4th of July then.
Drew: Yes, we’re sitting here, drinking beer, celebrating the Second Continental Congress.
Dave: Cheers!
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enjoyed as usual