The Art of Duct Tape
$6.2 million for a banana purchased for 35 cents? Think of the cash Casey's tossed when it ditched a grape bespeckled mirror. Or maybe it was the tape? Read Drew, then make a Bee line for Lowes!
By Drew Gallagher
HUMORIST
Money.
We would all probably like a little more of it. Even if we don’t necessarily need it, it would be nice to have disposable income to donate to charity or support local journalism at only $8/month (that’s less than $100 per year and makes for a great holiday gift). But as Cyndi Lauper once warned us in 1984, “Money Changes Everything”. (In actuality, The Brains warned us of the hazards of money years earlier, but it took Lauper’s cover version to really get our attention.)
If some of us had more money, we could have bid $6.2 million at Sotheby’s in New York for “Comedian,” which is an artwork that consists of nothing more than a banana duct-taped to a blank wall. The famous banana was purchased earlier that morning for 35 cents. (The art appraisers at Sotheby’s did not mention when the duct tape was purchased.)
The buyer said he’s going to eat the banana, which I assume is because it’s a great source of Vitamin D and potassium.
This record-breaking price for “Comedian” once again brings the question of “What is Art?” to the forefront of philosophical debate.
Does a simple banana duct-taped to a wall in a gallery or auction house constitute art? Does the winning $6.2 million bid include shipping? Do you get the rest of the roll of duct tape? Do you get to take the gallery or auction house home with you?
At moments such as these, art critics love to give good quotes on the importance of the artwork and art in general. One must imagine that on the morning of the sale of “Comedian” there were former art history majors leaping out of bed, with a fist pump, and declaring to their still-sleeping spouse (or to the ether if the spouse long ago tired of the early morning fist pumps and shouts of jubilation on days when people were buying fruit at Sotheby’s) that today was the day they would be contacted by local or national media and asked to opine on “What is Art?”
Art Critic Andrew Russeth proved he was equal to the challenge in 2019 when early versions of “Comedian” were sold for only a few hundred thousand dollars. He wrote in ARTnews:
"For many, 'Comedian' is an object lesson in the excesses of the art world, the absurdity of the art market, and the gaping wealth inequalities that now define the global economy."
By “many”, I assume he means only the subscribers to ARTnews because I think that “most” people would have the same response that I did when I saw that “Comedian” sold for $6.2 million: “Holy f*ckstockings! Someone just bought a banana duct-taped to a wall for $6.2 million which is yet another example of the gaping wealth inequalities that now define the global economy.”
As with most art displayed in your home, you have to have the perfect wall space to display or hang “Comedian.” Fortunately for most people, they can visualize the space by simply taking a banana from the kitchen and taping it to blank walls throughout the house until they find an area that screams this wall has been missing a banana ever since we moved in.
If you want to “live” with the art for a period of time before dropping $6.2 million you can run to Walmart and buy a bunch of bananas and a roll of duct tape. Just try to appear calm and unassuming as you buy the ingredients for a multi-million artwork installation for less than five dollars.
The sale of “Comedian” also shows that bananas are hotter than Bitcoin at the moment. An Andy Warhol screenprint of “Banana” only sold for $92,500 a dozen years ago. Plus, that screenprint came with a ton of baggage including a question more pressing than “What is Art?” The buyer of the Warhol screenprint (which was used for the 1967 album cover of the Velvet Underground and Nico’s seminal album) would inevitably be confronted with the question of whether or not The Velvet Underground was better than Lou Reed’s solo stuff. I’ve seen a staid garden party devolve into fisticuffs when that divisive question makes an appearance on the lawn.
Fredericksburg, of course, has a vast and thriving art scene, and I wondered if I may have missed any of the downtown galleries selling bananas, or any other fruit or vegetable, so I reached out to D.D. Lecky, who owns LibertyTown Arts Workshop with her husband Kenneth, and asked her if they had sold any fruits or vegetables for millions of dollars.
“Unfortunately, no,” said Lecky, who is also a potter. “We have made the strategic mistake of selling art only. It’s foolish honestly that we have not thought to sell duct-taped fruit, but we have to own our errors in order to grow.”
I then contacted a local artist and art teacher, Mark Hughes, who has a storied history in downtown Fredericksburg of capturing fruit in his artwork. (And by storied, I mean more than zero artworks featuring fruit.) Many years ago, Hughes was commissioned to create art on the mirror behind the bar at Grapevine Café. Hughes made the artistic decision to etch grapes into the mirror as befitting the name of the restaurant. Hughes did, however, initially attempt to forego the mirror etching of grapes in favor of a taped banana.
“I used the wrong kind of tape,” exclaimed Hughes. “Maybe if I had used duct tape I’d be retired by now.”
Hughes’ creation was admired by drunk patrons for decades and was only recently removed when Casey’s, the restaurant that replaced the Grapevine, remodeled the bar area for its new speakeasy, Cheeky’s. Hughes is still an art teacher at Mountain View High School and has been left to ponder the what-ifs that go along with his artistic vision for the space and opting for an intricate etching of grapes that he meticulously created instead of a simple banana duct-taped to a blank wall. But as Cyndi Lauper, whose net worth is believed to be about $50 million and is not a high school art teacher, cautioned:
Hey, yeah, yeah
Money changes everything
Money changes everything now
Money changes everything
Money changes everything
Money changes everything
Money
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