HUMOR: Fredericksburg Needs Your Vote to Beat Blowing Rock, NC
Drew Gallagher interviews Mayor Kerry Devine about why Fredericksburg deserves to win in the Final Four round of "Garden and Gun's" Best Main Street in the South competition.
By Drew Gallagher
HUMORIST
There was a pitched battle Sunday night to move on to the Final Four and, unlike the Duke Blue Devils, the Fredericksburg community did not choke!
Fredericksburg was matched up against Bristol, Virginia/Tennessee in the Elite Eight of Garden and Gun magazine’s “What’s the Best Main Street in the South?” and prevailed by the slimmest of margins, which was likely due to the fact that Caroline Street exists only in one state and was not able to pull from two states like those cheaters from Bristol.
Now, Caroline Street specifically and Fredericksburg more generally, has to face Blowing Rock, North Carolina in the Final Four and the competition is only open until midnight Thursday so please vote and vote often (that is allowed and even encouraged by the magazine):
Here is the link: https://gardenandgun.com/bracket/vote-best-main-street/
Some readers of the FXBG Advance might be torn about their loyalties and describe Blowing Rock, North Carolina on Facebook as “a great place with beautiful scenery.”
Do not be as confused as my mother-in-law who has shown no signs of dementia until the above Facebook post. Blowing Rock Blows!
Our beloved mayor of Fredericksburg, Kerry Devine, has none of the misgivings of my demented mother-in-law, even though they both attended Mary Washington College, the same institution of higher education that also produced Virginia’s #2 Humorist.
“If you’re looking for a downtown that actually has some ‘meat on its bones,’ comparing Blowing Rock and Fredericksburg is a bit like comparing a postcard to a library—one is nice to look at for five minutes, and the other actually has a story to tell,” said Mayor Devine.
“Blowing Rock’s claim to fame is a cliff where the wind blows upward—a neat trick, but Fredericksburg is the childhood home of George Washington. In Fredericksburg, you aren’t just walking past ‘quaint’ buildings; you’re walking the same streets as Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe. Between the Hugh Mercer Apothecary, Kenmore, and the Mary Washington House, the history here is foundational to the country, not just a local folk tale.”
And a dumb folk tale at that. The legend is that a Chickasaw maiden wanted her lover returned to her after he plunged off a cliff because he was torn between love for the fair maiden and his commitments to travel soccer. The maiden prayed atop the cliff and the strong winds blew him back to her, but he then left to go play a U-18 tournament at New Post because the Fredericksburg area has better everything and the maiden never saw him again.
The little postcard in the mountains place decided that they needed a reason for tourists to not just skip it on their way to the music, art, and beer of Asheville, so they made up a dumb legend with a dumber town name. Blowing Rock started to blow from that very moment, as confirmed by Mayor Devine.
“Blowing Rock has some lovely trout, but if you want variety, Fredericksburg’s food scene is in a different league,” said Devine. “Our downtown is a legitimate foodie destination. You can get world-class German at The Alpine Chef, inventive Southern at Foode, authentic Italian at Orofino, locally sourced creativity at Locavore, a margarita flight at Agave, or a massive slice of pizza at Benny Vitali’s. It’s a mix of upscale dining and gritty, authentic local favorites.”
“Blowing Rock caters heavily to the ‘weekend warrior’ crowd. Expect to wait two hours for a table at the three places everyone recommends, only to find the menu is largely designed for people who think black pepper is a ‘bold spice.’”
“There’s a certain ‘knick-knack’ fatigue that sets in after ten minutes on Main Street in Blowing Rock. It’s charming, sure—if your goal is to buy a $40 jar of jam and a sweater with a bear on it.”
And Blowing Rock cannot offer a store as resplendent in wonders as the Card Cellar. You can buy just about anything your heart desires in the Card Cellar, except a sweater with a bear on it, because that is tacky and proprietor Bart Goldberg has taste and standards.
And Caroline Street has Fraser Wood Elements which features furniture handcrafted out of wood and they do it without being surrounded by a forest, unlike Blowing Rock which has still not figured out that wood is a renewable resource and not just for tourist pictures in October.
Caroline Street also has Wren and Sparrow, for all of your bird feeding needs, to make your backyard a better version of Blowing Rock.
Any way you tap it (and if you’re at J. Brian’s the taps are always flowing with IPAs that are decidedly better than any North Carolina offering), Fredericksburg is the hands down winner as our Mayor is quick to point out.
“The biggest difference between the two small cities is the energy—a lived-in city vs. a seasonal resort. Fredericksburg is a year-round hub fueled by the University of Mary Washington (which is playing in the Division III men’s basketball finals this weekend!), a thriving arts community, and the Rappahannock River.”
“In Fredericksburg, the art scene is a heartbeat, not a seasonal event. First Fridays happen every single month, rain or shine. For over 30 years, thousands of people have flooded the streets to hop on the free trolley that connects the different creative districts. It’s a year-round commitment to culture that doesn’t depend on the leaves changing color to be relevant.”
“Blowing Rock can feel like a ghost town in the off-season and a claustrophobic tourist trap during leaf-peeping season. It’s a town that exists for visitors, whereas Fredericksburg is a city that exists for itself and happens to be incredibly welcoming to everyone else.”
Fredericksburg has it all, including a much cooler mayor than Blowing Rock, as evidenced by Mayor Devine’s gracious time and undeniable wit in this column. So please vote often before Thursday’s midnight deadline, if for no other reason than I would relish writing a column about possible finalists Paducah, Kentucky or DeLand, Florida—one an Ohio wannabe and the other nothing more than a Disney commuter town.
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