A Private Citizen's Push for a Space to Remember
By Martin Davis
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
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Flowers and crosses and teddy bears by the side of the road are a too-common sight in Viriginia, and across the nation. Informal memorials for people who passed away too young owning to an auto accident.
For one resident of Spotsylvania County, these memorials point to two larger issues. First is the alarming rise in teen and childhood mortality rates. It’s an “epidemic,” Jaimie Ashton told the Advance recently. And research supports her concern.
Dr. Steven Woolf of Virginia Commonwealth University reported in 2023 that “child and adolescent mortality rates in the United States rose by 20% between 2019 and 2021, the largest increase in at least 50 years.” The primary causes, according to a story released by VCU, is “homicide, accidental drug overdoses, motor vehicle accidents and suicide among those ages 10 to 19.”
The second point is that fellow students and friends of the deceased have no place to go that is safe where they can remember and begin to deal with the grief they feel.
That’s an experience Ashton has personal experience with. A close family friend nicknamed “Showtime” passed away, and finding a place for his friends and Ashton’s own family to deal with that loss proved troubling.
“There was a lot of hurting and nowhere to go,” Ashton said. The experience elevated her awareness of the issue as she began noting more kids pass away.
Her idea is to create a safe space for young people who’ve lost friends, and the parents of those lost, to gather and begin to deal with the grief.
“Getting people outside in nature helps with the healing process,” she said.
To that end, she’s developed a sketch of an idea that would serve as a memorial. It would include a 30-foot circle with pavers, trees like Japanese Maple and Weeping Willow, and benches.
The first would be in Spotsylvania. At the Board meeting in May, she will be presenting her proposal to build such a memorial at the Spotsylvania School District’s central office.
An artist friend will draw a portrait to show the Board at the meeting.
Such a memorial would benefit the deceased’s friends and family, to be sure, but there are others, too. The wife of the artist is a nurse.
“Nurses never get closure when they treat kids,” said Ashton. So the site would also potentially benefit caregivers and first responders, who also suffer trauma when dealing with tragedies involving youths.
Already sponsors are lining up to assist.
SiteOne in Spotsylvania has agreed to do the hardscaping for the site.
Another corporate sponsor is in negotiations to provide the trees and lighting.
10 Benches have been pledged by a number of community leaders.
And the engraving is being done by a local business owner.
Once this moves from proposal to project, Ashton wants to carry the idea forward to other communities. “My goal is to take it to as many towns and cities as I can get to,” she said. “If we can start healing the hurt, we can start solving some of the problems.”
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