AT HOME: Squirrels in the Attic
Living with squirrels was like living in a soap opera
By Loraine Page
COLUMNIST
Let’s get a common squirrel joke out of the way: There are no “suicide squirrels.” Squirrels think cars are giant predators. So while they appear comically indecisive, they are actually trying to determine their best course of action.
There’s a lot we don’t understand about squirrels, and that’s because we’re not like them. Or, are we?
I had the opportunity once to reside with quite a few of them for an extended period. I was living on Long Island in 2012 when Hurricane Sandy blew in causing havoc in the New York City area. I was actually in Virginia visiting my daughter during the storm, but I received a call from a neighbor informing me that a huge tree fell on my house. “It sounded like a sonic boom,” she said.
It would be a couple of weeks before I could get back up north because of a gas shortage, not to mention the flooding and debris cleanup the city was facing. When I finally arrived, I was somehow surprised to see my house with a tree lying across the roof.
Roofing companies were in high demand, as you can imagine, and my delay in calling put me last on their list of waiting customers. The inside of my house was not damaged. The tree went through my attic but not my ceilings.
I got back into my daily life and was working at my computer in the living room when I first heard chattering and the pattering of little feet. Squirrels, I thought.
Yes, squirrels. As each day passed, I could hear more squirrels overhead, and eventually I could hear them overhead in every room of my medium-sized ranch house. I didn’t mind the increase, though. It made me laugh to think how they might be broadcasting their good fortune to the entire squirrel neighborhood. “Free housing!” I imagined they shouted. “Great place to raise your babies!”
I admired their magnanimous nature. Bearing witness to their “society” upstairs, I couldn’t help but notice how talkative they were. Some of it had to be small talk — talking for the sake of interacting with others, and some appeared to be informative, like, “Here’s a good place to hide a nut!” Occasionally, there was arguing.
They were surely frenetic. Along with the chattering was a lot of running around. Unless they were sleeping, their lives were, well, nuts.
And still, I enjoyed having them there. We were heading into winter, and I was glad they found “empty apartments,” so to speak, to keep them warm and safe.
But eventually, things would have to change. After about a month, I received a call from the roofers. They were ready to repair my roof. Now I had decisions to make.
It wasn’t a real choice, though. The roof obviously needed to be fixed and sealed. The squirrels could not live in my attic indefinitely. They might be making a mess up there, and I needed to maintain the value of my house. My plan was to sell and move closer to my daughter in a few years.
But the squirrels. How to get them out — how to get all of them out — before the roofers arrived. Was there anyone who could help me with this? Was there anyone who wouldn’t think I was nuts for being in this predicament.
I found an animal removal guy who promised he would safely trap the squirrels in a large cage, using peanut butter to attract them. I arranged for the roofers to arrive the day after.
Did it turn out how as I had earnestly hoped it would? No.
But I did learn something about squirrels’ feelings. Something that broke my heart. Like us, they are more, much more, than daily activities interspersed with a period of sleeping. They love. They care about one another.
Animal removal guy caught about 10 of them. Before he took the cage away (and please God, make him drop them off in a beautiful, wooded area), the ones who hadn’t been caught gathered around the cage to say a goodbye.
I will never forget that scene. Families were torn apart, close friends who most likely would never see each other again. How had I not known it would come to this?
I did sell my house and moved to Fredericksburg in 2017. But I carried the ache with me. Knowing that animals feel the same feelings we feel is heartbreaking knowledge.
I eventually found a woman on YouTube who has this knowledge too. She runs a channel she simply calls “Squirrels at the window.” She buys nuts for squirrels — all kinds, from walnuts to almonds to pecans and peanuts, shelled and still in the shell —and places them on her windowsill.
It’s a calming channel. The only sounds are squirrels scrambling over bushes to reach her second-floor window — and her voice calling them by name.
The squirrels each have their own personality, from bold to quiet, and clumsy to acrobatic. Walnuts and almonds seem to be their favorites. Sometimes you’ll hear the woman’s voice gently saying something like “Don't bury that, Minnie. Eat it now.”
I think she loves them.
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That was a really beautiful and heartbreaking piece. As a fellow squirrel/nature lover I appreciated it so much even as it made me sad for the squirrel family. And as a PSA--'humane trap & release' as discussed here is anything but.
Imagine that you were snatched up and sent to a new place. Perhaps a lovely new place, but you had no knowledge of the neighborhood, no job, no house/money or friends. The existing neighbors don't want you. They try to banish you, failing that, they fight you. Odds are, without resources or familiarity of the new terrain, you starve or are caught by a predator. This is the usual fate of any animal who is relocated to a strange place.
I did this once long ago myself, to mice, so I too have been guilty. Know better, do better. Please bear this in mind, all who read this, if you feel you need to manage' your smallest neighbors. Finally, in VA (I know this story was set in NY), it is illegal to trap & relocate wildlife: https://dwr.virginia.gov/wildlife/nuisance/