'Memorial Day Is Every Day'
Ret. Colonel Teddy Durant, USMC Reserves, reflects on Memorial Day and the memories he daily carries of those who never made it home.
By Martin Davis
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
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“Memorial Day for me,” said Ret. Col. Teddy Durant, USMC Reserves, “is every day.”
Through 30 years of service — a decade on active duty, two decades in the reserves — Durant has known the tight brotherhoods that people in combat form, and the devastating loss when one of those brothers dies.
On this Memorial Day, indeed, every day for Durant, those memories involve three friends. Friends who never made it home.
Bob, Bill, and Mike
One of those was Lt. Col. Bob Zangas. The Detachment Commander for the 4th Civil Affairs Group, Durant served under him in 2003 as one of Zangas’ team leaders.
An “incredible” Marine, according to Durant, the two men became close. “We were emailing back and forth until the day he died,” Durant said.
That day came in March 2004 in Hillah, Iraq, when Zangas and two colleagues were assassinated at a fake checkpoint.
“A bunch of us went to his funeral in Pennsylvania in March,” Durant said. There, he served as a pall bearer on a cold day. What he remembers more than the weight of the casket, the cold air, and the frozen ground, however, was looking over during that ceremony and seeing Zangas’ three small children.
And this …
… “A year to the date that he got killed,” Durant said, “I was grilling steaks with him and his dad at Camp Pendleton before he was deployed.”
Sgt. Bill Cahir was “unbelievably smart,” Durant recalls. A Penn State graduate who majored in journalism, he and Durant drew close. So close that when Cahir decided to run for Congress in 2008, Durant, a Republican, gave Cahir, a Democrat, $200.
Cahir lost his primary and returned to Afghanistan. When he began what was his third deployment, his wife was pregnant with twins. Cahir didn’t return to see them. On August 13, 2009, he was hit by a sniper’s bullet and killed. His wife gave birth in December.
“Both were great guys,” Durant said.
It’s not just those lost in combat, however, that Durant recalls.
During the Amphibious Warfare School Challenge, an endurance challenge, Durant recalls “Mike,” a “phenomenal Marine” in top physical shape and mentally strong. Mike got Durant through that day, Durant recalls. “I wouldn’t have made it but for him.”
Even the strong, however, have vulnerabilities. While serving a tour in Iraq, Durant recalls, “Mike ended up taking his own life…. He was so strong, and so good, and you wish you could have saved him.”
Gratitude and Sorrow
When you’re active duty, Durant said, you’re told to go.
“When you’re in the reserves, you stick your hand in the air to go.” Durant says he “would have gone back again and again.”
Those who serve do so at great personal risk. Regardless of whether they ever see combat. “Training is dangerous,” Durant said. So, too, the mental toll.
“Memorial Day for me,” Durant said, “is not just about those killed in combat, but those killed in accidents, and those who take their own lives.”
It’s a day, he says, “mixed with gratitude and sorrow.”
There are so many, Durant said, “but Bill and Bob and Mike stick out the most to me.”
On Memorial Day, and every day.
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